My 7 year old self

Recently inspired by an article I read by Oprah, I decided to write my 7 year old self a letter.

Dear Poopy,

What you once thought was “Poopy Wants To Dance” but was actually “Boogie Wonderland” sticks through your thirties. Your father on occasion drops the “y”, but you still will be Poopy, and you don’t mind, it’s a piece of your history.

I know that life is really great right now.  You have a loving family, friends and are content.  This will change in a couple of years.  In fact it will get a lot worse, for a long time, before it gets better.  You will move to NJ and be completely lonely, isolated and out of place.  You will suffer from anxiety which will turn in to OCD and last for a few years until one day it suddenly disappears.  Later in your late twenties it will manifest itself differently but you will overcome it with a healthy lifestyle and a realization that the only person you can control in this life is YOU.

Your parents will divorce and you will feel completely stuck in the middle up until your early twenties. You will eventually move back to NY and life is full of unexpected freedoms b/c your father isn’t around and your mother is too busy to watch.  You will make awful decisions to date the wrong people, who treat you badly. Remember men don’t define you.  You eventually grow and meet a really great, caring guy who is as respectful, honest and hardworking.  You learn that relationships are about building trust, and in order for them to last, both people need to work hard at it.  You continue to have respect and admiration for each other. And above all grow together.

The death of your mother will be the turning point in your life that will change EVERY aspect of your life. It will take years, to recover from the emotional heart break. Sometimes even now, you want your mommy.

Your relationship with your father will continue to be close; he is the one person that will always have your back no matter what.  He always has your best interest at heart and loves you with all of him. He is so proud of your independence and your success and he celebrates each achievement.

You will have a wonderful relationship with your grandma.  It’s a beautiful friendship where you tell each other everything, and are completely honest. It’s quite refreshing for both of you. Especially b/c right now she is not very close to you.  You will have the funniest and cutest niece that you love unconditionally.  She will actually be a reminder of who you were as a child.

Your twenties are filled with madness in every sense.  You are drama filled.  One of your greatest achievements at 25 will be asking for a 17K raise which you get.  Six months later you will ask for a 22K raise which you get too.  You will feel so empowered, that the first person you will want to celebrate with will be your mother but she is no longer alive to share it with.

You will change jobs, without having a job, you will take huge leaps on the feeling that the universe will take care of you… and it does.  These leaps will scare the shit out of people, but they laugh when you come out shaking the sand off your shoulders with no “real” damage. They respect you for not settling or allowing life to control you.  You fly in every sense of the word. You are fearless.

Your family will be few and far between and you will eventually realize you are no longer a child and want a family of her own. After months of trying, you will succeed and then fail, which is a huge devastation to you for many reasons, including timing. But you will get over it… You know there is a bigger plan.

You will weed out friends you feel are unhealthy for you.  You don’t hold hard feelings, you forgive.  You continue to have great bonds with three great friendships. Your friends are women that are ambitious, go-getters just like you; women that are free spirited and most of all happy to be your friend, women that love you and your company.

There are many more things to be proud of over the years; many more accomplishments. But, there is one thing you never lose through all of this “life” you lived.  The smile and the laughter, it is still there. It’s your greatest blessing.   It not only makes others happy being with you, but it’s you that will always truly see, the glass as being half full.

Love always, Your greatest admirer